Today, I listened to a podcast about what it means to “live your values.” Totally my jam; I love listening to anyone talk about their values and how it shapes choices they make!
Naturally, it got me thinking.
What are MY values? Should I have values that I always operate on? Have I been operating on a set of values and just never articulated them out loud?
I wrote them down in no particular order:
Security, Creativity, Family, Learning, Health and Vitality, Contribution, Love.
My thought track said, “These are good… But wait, I can name lots of times when I didn't live my values! Oh no… Something is wrong with me. That’s immoral and lacks character. I don’t trust myself out there in the world unless I’ve got a guiding light that grounds me, unless I’m living these values 100% of the time.”
I walked around all day like a total GRUMP. I was frustrated. I did not trust myself to operate without this "road map” of values, then felt completely guilty about not trusting myself, then didn’t trust myself because I was feeling guilty, and then felt guilty about being guilty.
A vicious, confusing circle that made it totally exhausting to live life that way!
I will NEVER win being in that cycle.
I chose to take responsibility for that way of being, declare it as inauthentic, and move the hell on.
Taking responsibility created space for compassion, humility and humanity. Instead of being hard on myself when I’m not living those eight values, I’ve been practicing a revised mantra:
“I live my values AND I grant myself grace.”
This helps me so much when I notice myself making myself wrong and feeling guilty for not living within the fine lines of my “values." I try that new mantra on and I feel free.
Like a tree, I’m grounded and unwavering in my values. But, I allow my "branches and leaves" to move where the wind takes me.
I value security AND can be spontaneous.
I value creativity AND can keep it simple.
I value family AND can be comfortably alone.
I value learning AND can be proud of my accomplishments where I am today.
I value health AND enjoy eating cake (cheesecake, thank you very much).
I value contribution to others AND can be of service to and take care of my self.
I value love AND can have many other emotions.
I value my Values AND I grant myself Grace!